If you’re considering adoption during your unplanned pregnancy, you need to ask yourself some tough questions in order to come to the best decision for yourself and your child.
You need to be honest with yourself about what you are able to provide for your baby and what you want for your own life. Only you can understand your situation and why you are considering adoption, and only you are able to make the decision to give your baby up for adoption. But you can begin to determine how you feel about adoption and if it might be the best choice for you and your child.
You should start by asking yourself these questions if you’re not sure you want to give up baby for adoption:
- How much time do I have to devote to this child?
- What kind of life do I want for this child? Can I provide that with my current income? How can I pay for food, housing, diapers, childcare, clothes and other essentials for my child?
- What type of future do I want for my child? Do I want him or her to have more opportunities than I had? Who could provide this?
- What kind of life do I want for myself? Can I achieve the things I want and still raise a child? How will being a parent now affect my future relationships?
- Who is able to help me raise this child if I don’t give up my baby for adoption? Can I depend on them to be there for me in 5 years? 10 years?
- Do I want the child to have a two-parent home?
- Am I ready to become a parent? Am I ready to sacrifice my free time to take care of my new responsibilities?
- Can I rely on the birth father for help and financial support? Do I want to have a connection or relationship with the birth father for the rest of my life? What type of example will he be for the child?
- Where will I raise this child? Where will I take the child to play? Do I have enough room in my current home for the child? Will they be able to attend a good school where I currently live? Is this a safe neighborhood to raise a child?
- Am I in an abusive situation? What would I do if the abuse was focused on my child?
- Could my drug or alcohol problems harm the child in some way? Could the child be removed from my home because of my drug or alcohol problem?
- How will raising this child affect my other children’s lives? Will they have to live without certain things now that there are more children?
- Can I live with the thought of never seeing my child grow up?
- Would I regret an abortion in a few years?
- Who can I talk to if I need support and guidance in my decision?
- Would I feel better about adoption if I was able to decide what type of contact I want with the parents? What if I am able to choose the adoptive family? What would I look for in a family?
It will help to write down the answers to your decisions. Keep these notes and revisit them if you need to remember why or how you made your decision.
After reviewing your answers to questions like these, you may decide that parenting is not right for you at this time. If that’s the case, you can create an adoption plan that works for you and choose the adoptive parents who will provide the type of life you want for your baby. If you would like more information about the adoption process and the options for you and your child, please call 1-800-ADOPTION. You can also fill out our online form and a member of our team will contact you.
Remember, once you contact an adoption professional, you should not sign any paperwork that legally binds you to adoption. The professionals are there to listen to you and help you decide what you need during your unplanned pregnancy.