When you’re a prospective birth parent, you’re in charge of the adoption process. You start by creating an adoption plan with the help of your agency (more info on that below). In this plan, you lay out how you want things to go.
There’s a lot of decisions involved in placing your baby for adoption. Perhaps the biggest is choosing the adoptive parents that you think will be best. And when it comes to choosing an adoptive family for your baby, there’s a nearly endless list of things you can choose.
We’ve created this guide to show you just how in control of the adoption process you are as a prospective birth parent. Here are all of the different things you can choose about the adoptive family, down to the most specific detail about who they are and what you think will be best for your baby.
Choosing the Adoptive Family
How can you be sure that you find the best family for your baby? One big factor is finding the right adoption agency.
Agencies work with prospective birth parents and hopeful adoptive parents. A larger agency, like a national adoption agency, works with more hopeful parents, which means that they will have more adoptive family profiles to show you. More profiles increase the chance of finding parents you think are perfect for your baby.
Here are a few national adoption agencies that you might want to consider:
Choosing a Married Couple
So, what types of things can you choose about the adoptive family? To start, you could decide that a two-parent household is very important to you.
Married couples looking for children to adopt make up most of the hopeful parents out there. You can let your adoption agency know that married couples looking to adopt a child will be especially appealing to you.
Choosing a Couple that Isn’t Married
There are many couples looking to adopt without being married. While marriage used to be essential to becoming a family, it’s not that way anymore. Many couples are deeply committed and ready to start a family without involving the institution of marriage.
If you’d like to look for couples not married who want to adopt, you can certainly do so.
Choosing Single Parents
Just as there are virtues to co-parenting, there can be benefits to single parenting, as well. Although it is a less common request, you could decide that you want to see profiles for single parents looking to adopt. This is a request your adoption agency should be able to respond to.
When you let your adoption professional know that single parents looking to adopt are interesting to you, they will put together a collection of adoptive family profiles from single parents. You can look at as many profiles as you need to until you find the right one.
Choosing an LGBTQ Couple
Adoption is a great way for LGBTQ partners to start or grow their family. There are plenty of gay couples looking to adopt. You could let your adoption agency know that you’d like to find a gay couple to adopt your baby if the virtues of growing up in same-sex parent household are appealing to you.
Gay couples looking to adopt can be wonderful parents who provide your child with the opportunity to grow and thrive in a loving home. This is another example of the type of thing you can choose about the adoptive family.
Choosing Parents Based on Race
Race and representation matter in parenting, just as they do in most every other aspect of American life. Multi-racial families can be amazing and beautiful. You may want your child to have a transracial family experience.
On the other hand, if you are a prospective birth parent of color, it may be important to you to find adoptive parents of the same race.
If you are looking for an African American adoptive family, for instance, this is something you can talk with your adoption agency about. Whatever your preference is — whether it’s African American couples looking to adopt or families looking to adopt a Hispanic newborn — you can let your adoption agency know.
This request can be as specific as you’d like. For example, you could ask for things like:
- Biracial couples looking to adopt
- Black couples looking to adopt
- Families wanting to adopt Black children
- Families wanting to adopt a Native American
- Families looking to adopt an Asian newborn
- Families wanting to adopt Hispanic children
- Families wanting to adopt white children
Although some people may find it uncomfortable to talk about race, it can be an important factor in selecting adoptive parents for your baby, and is yet another example of the type of thing you can choose about the adoptive family.
Choosing Parents Based on Age
Are there young couples adoption? Or, what about if an older couple wants to adopt?
When you’re a prospective birth parent, you can choose the adoptive parents for your baby based on age. You may think that a young couple adopting will be able to provide a better life for your child and be around longer into their adulthood. On the other hand, you could be of the opinion that an older couple who wants to adopt will have a better grasp on what it takes to be a good parent.
Either way, you can work with your adoption specialist, you can define an age range and then look at adoptive family profiles within that range.
Choosing a Family Based on Faith
Faith can shape a person and a family. Religion can instill important values, form worldviews and provide community. For many, a specific faith tradition is the cornerstone of life.
When you’re a prospective birth parent, you can choose the adoptive parents for your baby based on their religious affiliation.
There are many Christian couples looking to adopt. If Christianity has made a positive impact on your life and you want the same for your child, you could ask your adoption agency to send you profiles of Christian adoptive families.
Or, you could be looking for Catholic couples to adopt your baby. You can make a similar request of your agency. You could also ask to see profiles of Muslim families looking to adopt or Jewish adoptive families.
You can make your search as broad or detailed as you’d like — from specifically looking for Christian adoption profiles to broadly looking at religious adoptive families, or, conversely, non-religious adoptive families. It’s totally up to you and what you think will be best for your baby.
Choosing a Wealthy Family
There’s nothing wrong with wanting a comfortable life for your baby. Adoption agencies screen all hopeful parents to ensure they are prepared to provide for the needs of your baby. This means that any adoptive family profile you see is of a family that has proved themselves to be financially responsible and capable of providing for a child.
Still, you may be specifically interested in rich couples looking to adopt.
If rich couples looking to adopt sound like they could give your child the life you want for them, then you should speak to your adoption specialist about this. However, it is important to know that wealthy couples looking to adopt won’t be able to provide any more adoption financial assistance than any other couple, because this type of assistance is regulated by state law.
Depending on how much the family is willing to share, you may or may not be able to actually see how wealthy a family is. But, you can see things like:
- Where the family lives
- The parents’ professions
- The family’s house
By looking at these things, you can get a sense for the adoptive family’s level of affluence. There are many wealthy couples looking to adopt, and if this is specifically important to you, then you can choose wealthy adoptive parents for your baby.
Just remember, every adoptive family has been vetted to ensure they can provide for your child.
Choosing a Family Because of Lifestyle
Lifestyle preferences outside of religious tradition could be important to you. You may want to know, for instance, that a family cares about the environment, is active and loves to get outdoors, or is a vegan couple looking to adopt.
There are all kinds of lifestyle decisions that influence what a family will be like, and you can speak to your adoption agency about anything that is meaningful in your search for the perfect adoptive family.
Choose the Family that Is Best for Your Baby
People are not simple. We’re complex creatures composed of a thousand different qualities — our age, sexuality, religion, lifestyle choices and more. When you’re a prospective birth parent, you can highlight the qualities that mean most to you and choose adoptive parents based on those things.
By taking the time and effort to decide what matters most in an adoptive family, you’re setting the stage for your child to grow up in a wonderful home full of love and opportunity. This is a brave and honorable decision.
If you’d like to begin searching for adoptive parents, you can browse adoptive family profiles on our site. You can also contact us at any time to be connected with an adoption agency that can help you get started in your process.