Common Situations and How They May Affect Your Adoption Plan
If you are considering adoption, it is likely because you have taken the time to research your options and learn about the details of how adoption works. During this process, you probably learned a good deal about your rights as the parent of your child, but you may not understand the rights of the child’s father.
Do you both need to be present for the adoption? Does the father have to agree to the adoption? Can you pursue adoption without the father’s consent?
If you’re asking questions like this, you’re not alone. Adoption without parental consent and the rights of the father in adoption are confusing, important topics. If you are considering adoption as a prospective birth mother, you need to find answers about your situation to know if a child can be adopted without the father’s consent. While this guide should not be taken as legal advice, our hope is that it helps you better understand your circumstances.
The way a birth father’s parental rights are handled is different in every state and in every situation. More times than not, his parental rights can legally be terminated whether he is identified, unidentified, supportive or unsupportive of the adoption. As the mother, you can make sure you choose a respectable adoption professional, usually a national adoption agency, that will have the expertise to effectively handle all of the state-specific legalities involved in the relinquishment of the birth father’s parental rights.
There are several different birth father scenarios, each with different implications for the adoption.
Common Situations for the Birth Father in Adoption
Women considering adoption come from many different walks of life. Whatever your situation is, it is both unique and probably something an adoption agency has seen before.
You may feel confused about how your relationship with the father of the baby could impact your adoption process. To help you gain a better understanding of what this could look like for you, let’s go over some of the most common types of relationships between prospective birth mother and birth father.
Supportive Birth Father
Can a woman “give her baby up” for adoption if the father is still in the picture? If the father is still involved and supports the adoption, then yes: A woman can “give up” a baby for adoption if the father is around.
The best-case scenario is for the birth father to be supportive of the adoption. In this scenario, the birth father is willing to work with you as a team to ensure that the child will be given the best life possible with a loving adoptive family. Just like the prospective birth mother, a supportive birth father can play a part in making choices like the level of openness and who the adoptive family will be.
The birth father’s consent will be needed in order to terminate his parental rights. How does a birth father consent to adoption? When he is supportive, he follows the same process as the prospective birth mother. Often, birth fathers can give their consent to the adoption at any time, but this will vary depending on state laws. Your adoption agency or attorney can walk you through the process of consenting to the adoption.
In addition to this type of involvement in the process, a supportive birth father can be an important emotional support for the prospective birth mother during the journey. Often, the birth mother fights the emotions of grief and loss on her own, but if the father is supportive of your decision, he will likely experience many of the same emotions, which both of you can work through together.
If this does not describe your scenario, do not worry. While having a supportive birth father can make the process easier, there are protocols for other scenarios, and your adoption specialist will be able to help you pursue your adoption.
Unsupportive Birth Father
If you know the father of the baby will not support the idea of adoption, you may be wondering, “Do you need the father’s consent for adoption?”
Adoption consent and birth father rights are a complex legal topic. To find the most accurate answer for your specific situation, you should speak with an adoption agency and adoption attorney. With the said, there are some important things about adoption without parental consent that you should know.
First, this is the most common scenario because many birth mothers choose adoption so their child can grow up in a two-parent household. This void left by the birth father is often one of the main reasons birth mothers choose adoption. If the mother wants to “give baby up” for adoption but the father does not, then you are not alone.
If the birth father is unhappy about the pregnancy itself, he will most likely be unsupportive of the adoption as well. Some birth fathers even attempt to run from the situation by pressuring the birth mother into having an abortion, thinking that will make the “problem” disappear.
It is important for you to remember that whatever decision you make should be yours alone. Be upfront with your baby’s father about your reasons for choosing adoption and why you feel it is the right decision for you and the baby. If he isn’t receptive to your reasoning, you can seek support from other loved ones and even your adoption specialist. Speak to your professional about “giving baby up” for adoption without the father’s consent.
By placing your baby for adoption through a national adoption agency, a social worker can help the birth father understand the adoption process and why it is the best decision. National adoption agencies’ social workers are experts on state laws and have access to lawyers who can answer any questions about an unsupportive birth father.
Unknown Birth Father
Even if there is an unknown father, adoption can still proceed if a court decides to terminate any of the possible birth fathers’ rights, although state laws vary greatly in this area. Your social worker will explain the state laws to you and how to pursue adoption when the father is unknown or unable to be located.
Some prospective birth mothers worry that this will make the process more difficult. While we can’t say exactly how your adoption will be affected, “giving a child up” for adoption when you don’t know who the father is, when there is more than one possible father, or when you don’t know how to contact the father, is relatively common. Your adoption agency will know what to do.
Uninvolved Birth Father
Can you “give a baby up” for adoption if the father isn’t around?
Uninvolved birth fathers, which might also mean they are unknown, can be a challenge. However, adoption could still be possible in this situation.
If you know who the father is but he is out of the picture, then his parental rights will still need to be terminated. This could happen through his willful consent to the adoption, or a court could decide to terminate his rights.
The man that you identify as the birth father is known as the “putative father.” The putative father is sought by the agency and attorney to relinquish his parental rights in most adoptions. If he denies being the father, he has three possible choices of action based on state laws:
- Relinquish his parental rights by writing that he doesn’t believe he is the father, but if he is, he relinquishes any rights.
- Ignore the court and agency’s attempts at serving him consent papers to relinquish his rights, in which case the court would involuntarily terminate his rights.
- Take a DNA test to disprove his paternity. This option is rare and usually not necessary.
The relinquishment of the birth father’s parental rights can be a complicated process because of the each state’s intricate laws. This, however, isn’t something you should concern yourself with, as the agency you place with, with the assistance of an adoption attorney, will take care of all of the legalities associated with the adoption.
The one thing you can do to help the process is to be open and direct with the birth father and tell him why adoption is the correct decision for your baby. Tell him you’d appreciate his help and acceptance of your decision. No matter what his feelings are, the decision is yours and yours alone, and the adoption will almost always be successful with him or without him.
Whether or not you can “give a baby up” for adoption if the father isn’t present takes a different course when the father is absent and unknown. If you are unsure of who the father is, a court may attempt to locate him through the putative father registry or other means. One way or another, it needs to be established that no one else has parental rights so that the adoption can proceed. Talk to your adoption agency and attorney about how this will play out in your situation.
Birth Fathers and New Relationships
A new relationship and unplanned pregnancy can be extremely challenging. In this situation, remember that it is always the right of the prospective birth mother to do what is best for her life. You may want to speak with the father of the baby about the decision and get his input. However, if you feel pressured to do something you don’t want to do, then you may want to speak with an adoption attorney.
When you’re in a new relationship and unplanned pregnancy occurs, you can choose adoption. It may be uncomfortable and complicated. Your agency and attorney will be there to help you navigate the process and, if necessary, adoption without parental consent of the birth father.
Divorced Birth Fathers
If I want to give a baby up for adoption and I’m going through a divorce, what are my rights and what are the father’s rights?
This is a complicated situation. Divorce is painful on its own. Choosing to put a baby up for adoption while in divorce proceedings can be challenging, but it is possible.
The ability to complete this type of placement will depend on a variety of factors. What age is your child? How does the father feel about adoption? Are there any other factors that would make it more likely for a court to terminate his parental rights?
Unfortunately, we can’t give you specific answers. For that, you’ll need to speak with your adoption agency and attorney.
Birth Father, Not Spouse
Can a baby be “given up” for adoption if your spouse is not the father?
If you believe adoption will be best for your life, you should always consider it. However, you should also be aware that situations where the father is not your spouse can be very complicated.
In many states, the spouse has some parental rights to the child even if another man is the father. Whether or not you should keep a baby by another man will be largely dependent on your state’s laws, the feelings of your spouse, and the feelings of the father about adoption.
As with other situations, the best way to get answers is to speak with an adoption agency or attorney about your situation.
Adoption Without Consent
If you find yourself in a situation with an unsupportive, uninvolved or unknown birth father and your believe that adoption is the best path forward, then you’ll need to pursue adoption without parental consent of the father.
How can you do this?
First, contact an adoption agency or adoption attorney. Like we’ve emphasized above, this type of adoption is handled on a case-by-case basis. Find a legal expert who will advocate for your best interests.
It’s equally important to ensure that you are in a safe situation. If the father is refusing to put a child up for adoption and making you feel unsafe, you may want to reach out for help. Once again, this is something you could speak with an adoption attorney about.
It’s difficult to say how everything will work out in your situation. Once you are connected with the right professionals, the best thing to do is to trust them and trust the process.
What Comes Next?
The best way to respond to a complicated situation with the father of the baby, especially if you are interested in pursing adoption without the birth father’s consent, is to speak with an adoption agency or adoption attorney.
Birth father rights are complex, and often come down to a case-by-case basis. To find out what will be possible in your situation, the best option is to speak with a professional. Unsure of who to call? You can contact us today to be connected with an adoption agency