Can a Father Put a Child Up for Adoption? Myths vs. Facts

You’ll find plenty of articles of women choosing adoption for their babies, but what about the fathers? Here’s what you need to know about fathers choosing to place their children for adoption.

A quick search for information about placing a child for adoption will lead you to a lot of articles for prospective birth mothers. But what about birth fathers? Can a father put a child up for adoption?

The answer: Yes. There are fathers that “give up a child” for adoption. This guide is meant for anyone interested in learning more about how to do that as a prospective birth father.

Let’s take a look at some important questions about who gets to choose adoption for the baby, as well as some myths that may be discouraging you, as a prospective birth father, from choosing adoption.

Can a Father Put a Child Up for Adoption?

Yes, a father can place a child for adoption. However, it is typically not his decision alone to make.

Most private adoptions are newborn adoptions. The adoption plan is made when the mother is still carrying the child. If this is your situation, then the mother also has to consent to the adoption, as it is her pregnancy and her body. Together, mothers and fathers put a child up for adoption.

Can a father put his baby up for adoption without the mother’s consent? It would be an extremely rare and unique situation. If you believe that this needs to happen, you should speak to an adoption attorney. Generally speaking, the mother’s consent is always required.

When a couple chooses adoption together, it can be the start of a challenging, yet beautiful, journey. Being there to support each other along the way can make everything better. In choosing adoption, the two of you are doing something very brave. You are creating a better future for yourself and your child.

How Can a Father Put a Child Up for Adoption?

The adoption journey is always unique depending on the specific circumstances of the birth parents, but each process does follow the same big steps. When you’re the father of the baby, you have the ability to participate in each step along with the prospective birth mother.

The steps of the adoption process are:

  • Step 1: Choose adoption as the unwanted pregnancy option.
  • Step 2: Find an adoption agency and create a plan.
  • Step 3: Look over adoptive family profiles and choose the parents you think will be best.
  • Step 4: Complete the placement by signing your consent to adoption.
  • Step 5: Continue on with life after placement and stay connected with your child through open adoption communication.

Supporting her throughout the adoption is your number one job. Aside from that, you can be a part of the decision-making process when it comes to things like the level of openness after placement and choosing the adoptive family.

Fathers that “Give up Child” for Adoption: Facts vs. Myths

Whether through direct information or subtle societal messaging, you may have picked up a sense of shame and embarrassment about being a father who puts a child up for adoption. “Real men,” you might be thinking, wouldn’t “give up” like that. But, here’s the thing: Adoption isn’t giving up. Not at all.

It’s brave. It’s courageous. It’s difficult. It’s loving.

Adoption is choosing to do the hard thing because you want what is best for your child. If a “real man” is anything, he’s a good person who does what is best for others, even if it means sacrificing part of himself.

Here are some of those myths you may have heard and believed about fathers that “give children up” for adoption, and why those myths aren’t true.

Myth: Adoption is “giving up.”

We touched on this briefly, but it’s worth exploring in-depth. The most common way to talk about adoption is to say “give a child up” for adoption. While there’s no bad intention behind this phrase, it betrays a common misconception about adoption, and especially about fathers that “give children up” for adoption.

Adoption is not “giving up” at all.

 Giving up is passive; adoption is active. Giving up is admitting defeat; adoption is choosing to create a better life. Giving up is walking away; adoption is taking a challenging journey head-on.

When a father puts a child up for adoption, he is not giving up. It’s the opposite, really. He’s doing something brave that gives his child the opportunity to grow and thrive in the loving home of an adoptive family.

Myth: Adoption makes you less of a man.

Who defines what it means to be a man? Don’t let popular culture dictate your value. Define yourself by what you do to make the lives of the people you love better. If adoption is right for your child — if it will offer them a life of love and opportunity — then there’s nothing about being a father who puts a child up for adoption that makes you less of a man.

Myth: Fathers that “give children up” for adoption can’t ever be fathers.

Just because now is not the right time to be a parent doesn’t mean there will never be a right time. Many fathers who choose adoption will go on to be a parent later. Timing is everything. Adoption may be best now, and parenting may be best later. Choosing adoption does not mean giving up on the chance of becoming a parent at some point in life.

Learn More

 Do you think adoption could be right for your family? The next thing to do is speak with a professional. You can contact us today to be connected with an adoption agency. This connection is always free of cost, and the agency will be able to answer your questions about adoption.